Sept 06 2013

Well I have quit crying from pain and frustration over her actions. There is nothing I can do to change her heart. She has to want to make the change. I cant force her to love me again. All I can do is model Jesus for her. Doing that not only shows her I have changed but it changes me. The more I seek to love her the more I DO lover her. The more I seek to distance myself from her the more distant I become.

I have NOT given up faith that God is going to fix this marriage. I HAVE given up hoping that He will heal it suddenly soon. Its not that I don't think he can, its just that I CANT care when He fixes it anymore. I trust that He is moving at the speed that He needs to bring us back together again perfectly and I go on with my life as best I can.

I am getting back into the Church again. I am probably not praying enough but I do speak to almost constantly as if He were right next to me. And He speaks to me in phone calls, radio shows, things I see and hear, people stopping by and many other ways. He DOES speak clearly to me in those ways.

He spoke to me one day as I struggled to convince myself to get up and get ready to go to Church. He said "Do you think I want you to not go to Church?" I said "nooooo." He said "Then who wants to keep you away?" "Satan!?" I said. "You got it, now get moving!" he said.

The reasons for my conviction that God will put this back together? Well God says "He (God) works and who can stop Me!?" Malachi: "God HATES divorce!" Many people are praying for us....and I am not talking bout the casual prayers BUT the gray haired granny's that keep the chatter box in heaven full all the time! They WONT shut up so God has to give up for some peace! LOL

I am finding myself being drawn away from her. Lord, is that your will or am I allowing the world liar to get a foothold in my marriage again? Lord please give me wisdom to act in a way that will bring You honor! Don't let me speak without seeking Your heart first! Keep me on the straight road and filled the Peace that YOU can and will save this marriage!

Lord, please expose anything that hinders her from seeking Your will and the recovery of this marriage. Lord, lay bare the underlying causes for her hardened heart and iron will. Lord, address those issues and build her back up again. Bring her back home to You and then the family!

Amen

What GOD will do in a divorce!

I think I finally GOT IT!!!
I CANNOT make her ignite that spark of love for me again!
SHE has to ignite it on her own.
SHE has to see it and want it again.
SHE has to forgive me for past actions.
SHE has to have the WANT to forgive me.
SHE has to WANT to spend her life with me again.
SHE has to GET OVER THE PAIN AND HEAL HER OWN HEART!
WHEN she does THIS she will want to put the family back together.

Its that simple!

My role in all this is simple as well.
All I must do is GIVE it to GOD with JOY!
Now that sounds trite to those in pain right now and I am sorry BUT lets look closer at it!
IF you are a Christian then you know that God loves you.
IF she is a Christian then you know that God loves her.
IF this is your first marriage then you must know that God brought the two of you together for his glory.
Then you must know that what GOD put together that no man (or women) can take apart.
You also know that God states strongly in the old test the he HATES divorce.
So to put it together simply:
1) GOD put you two together
2) GOD can not lie
3) GOD can not do evil
4) GOD sees divorce as evil
5) GOD forgives ALL sins..EVERY KIND OF SIN!
6) GOD calls you to be Christ like and that requires that YOU forgive ALL those who sin against you.
7) GOD calls you to be Christ like and LOVE those that do you wrong...no choice..LOVE all.
8) GOD will not allow PEACE in the heart of a sinning Christian.
9) GOD will not allow PEACE in the heart of a Christian seeking divorce.
10) GOD is a God of restoration...look at how he restored Israel OVER and OVER again! HE LOVES IT!
11) GOD WILL restore your marriage IF YOU give him the time and get out of the way.

I know that last one is the toughy.
You want SOOOOO badly to save the family from the pain but you cant.
You think you can but you cant. I tried for over 4 months to win her back but to no avail.
I am SURE I have made a difference BUT she is dedicated to getting out.

So here is the summary of my efforts so far:
I cant make her stay with actions.
I cant make her stay with words.
I cant make her stay with works.
I cant make her stay thru prayer.
I cant make her stay with emotions.
I cant make her stay with my will.

having tried all those I have been shown by God that here is how it MUST work for HIM to work.
I have to give it to him in mind, body and heart.
How do I do this?
If you are still at the point that you cry when you see pics then you are not ready for this step.
When you have reached the point where you cant cry any more then you are ready.
Once that point is reached its time for step 2.
GIVE IT TO GOD and find joy in what you have at hand.
How do you do that?
Simple....GOD's LOVES to give us gifts!
Look to the future that GOD has for you.
It will be GREAT!
He is working on it.
If you give it to him he will fix the rust, replace the interior, re-build the engine, paint it a wonderful color and give it back to you in great shape, hot and running perfect.

Since pain, anger, rage, mis trust and other negative emotions have done nothing to improve the situation try something that WILL work.....
GOD.....he NEVER lets you down.
Give it to him...
Have you trusted your eternal soul to Him thru Jesus?
Is that not the most IMPORTANT thing you do in your life?
How much would you pay to have your kids eternal souls promised to heaven?
Everything I would wager!
If you have trusted him with your soul then it will be easy to let him have your breaking marriage.
Trust him to save it just like you did your eternal soul.
Give it to him with the same JOY that you knew the minute you were saved!
Remember the burdens that were lifted the day you were saved?
The pain fled, the peace of God rested on you.
The peace of God was in you.
Blessed assurance was your in that God was now in control of your LIFE!
Now have the blessed assurance that God is now in control of HER life...and He HATE divorce.
So sit back, love her, laugh and relax in the arms of Jesus.
He has this under control.
He NEVER lets go of what is His!
He wont let your marriage go....ever...and you must not let it go either.
Hold on and trust Him to put it back together in His time!

I hope this helps anyone out!