My Tormentor is Me

The stones come in so fast and hard

I have not time to throw up my guard

The crack of the stones as they crush my bones

Stuns the senses till my soul howls and moans

Dripping, glistening and red at my feet they lay

Piled upon each other, growing larger each day

I look closely at each one and there appears to be

Writing in black on each stone almost too small to see

The words? Arrogance, pride, distrust, rage, and greed

Lie, deceit, hate and malice, each one an evil seed

Straining to see who is hurling these missiles my way

I catch a shadowy glimpse of him and start to sway

He smiles with a glint in his eye as he hefts another stone

Then he shouts “here, this is one more evil you have sown”

And then I see something that melts my soul away

At his side are the terrible accumulations of all my ways

An oaken barrel with blood read bands the stones are all stored in

And written in demonic script on the barrel are my married sin

In big bold letters of blood red hate these words crushed my soul

“These are the stones he rained on her, she paid the price in full”

Now give them back to him with the interest paid in part

And see if he can take the same pain he inflicted on her heart

I cry out in pain as I read those words so cruel

The voice my tormentor shouts out “YOU FOOL”

“You had the best of everything she could ever give”

“But in the blindness of your sin you forgot to live”

“She loved you with all her heart and soul and might”

“And all you did was treat her love as if it were a blight”

“And now you wallow in the pain caused by your own spears”

“All your efforts to chase a goal now choke on your tears”

I raised my eyes still burning with grief, fear, and pain

And strive to see this evil being who is my earthly bain

For a moment my vision clear as I look him full in the eye

I reel back in blind horror to realize that the hurler is I