For three months now we have been in the process of getting her ready to move out. We have done most of the paperwork for the breakup of our marriage. She has started the work for getting a loan for the place she will move into. I have started the process of refinancing our old house so she can have money for the down payment on her place. The 8 and 10 year old are excited that they get their own rooms and the 15 year old claims that she will not stay with mom because she does not want to be her live in baby sitter. My life was shattered 3 months ago. Now the pieces are starting to fall to the ground. Soon enough I will be the divorced father and husbnad. Soon enough I will have free time I never wanted. My family and friends tell me to get a hobby, to go out and live. They dont understand that my hobby and life was my kids. I NEVER left my kids at home and pursued a hobby. I ALWAYS made them my top priority. I loved to be with them and, to me, being with them was living. They were and still are my world. But now I must start to build a life based on WHEN I get them. No longer will I be able to just decided to take them out for dinner or a slushie. But such is the women I created. She thinks she is getting free of me when in reality SHE is going where I sent her. I never dreamed that she would leave me for what I did NOT do. But she is and there is no changing her mind. My only hope is that God steps in and changes her heart like her did mine. But most of God's amazing blessings are done when all else seems locked in place and unchangable. When you see the gun pointed at you and you hear the crack of it going off and you KNOW that you are dead...that is when he steps in and changes everything. If you are reading this and believe in God then please pray that he steps in and saves my family from the pain that awaits down the road that is wide and the gate that is broad. I pray for those in dire straight I pray for those at hells gate I pray for those who live in fear I pray for those who's end is near I pray for those who have not heard I pray for those to find the word But mostley what I pray at night Is that God makes her heart right