July 30th 2013:

Well I let go and let God yesterday and he did NOT disapoint! I got home around 3:00pm with her fav dish from AppleBee's...Festia Lime Chicken. She was just up and sitting in bed doing her nails. I spent the next 2 hours waiting on her and showing her how much I love, respect and appriciate her. She left for work at 5:15. Just before she left she had a few minutes so she pulled out her Ipad and showed me a house in Monroe that she had looked at moving into once the refi came thru for me and I could give her the half of the equity in the home we own now. As she was showing it to me she commented on how many rooms and bathrooms and then said "And IF things do work out for us there is room for your....."

Thats all I needed to hear. She dropped me a nugget of hope that she is entertaining the fact that we could get back together. THAT was blessing one for the first real day of letting go that I can remember. The SECOND blessing was after she left and got to work. Her boss is a well respected memeber of our Church. She is a prayer warrior and has experience with having a bad husband at one time. After she was a work she texted me that she was at work and had spoken with AND prayed with this older seasoned Chistian women! NOW that is a BIGGGGG change!

About 60 days ago I asked her if she was praying for us and she said in a nice way NO! She said that she prayed that God change me for over a year and towards the end of that time she prayed that God either kill me or her, after that she stopped praying all together. I asked her to pray with me once and she said she would NOT pray with me. I asked her once to promise me that she would pray by herself for us and she said no.

I told her that I would never take advice on how to steal something from criminal in prison and that I was getting lots of advice from divorced people on what to do and that I would NEVER take advice from a divorced person on how to do something UNLESS it was on how they thought they could have saved the marriage. I told her that I took advice from older couples that had remained married thru tough times and hard seasons. THOSE are the people I wanted adivce from, successes not failures.

So here she is texting me that she spoke with a seasoned, well respected, solid Christian lady who has the scars to prove she knows what its like and stuck it out and made it work anyway AND she prayed with her!!!!! Two rays of hope at the end of this tunnel given to me by Gods own hand! I CANT WAIT to see what he does today for us! All my wailing, moaning and crying about WHAT God was NOT doing was getting in the way of what he was WAITING to do for us! If she is praying and I am praying and all those prayer warriors are praying for us all I need to do is trust, get out of the way and be ready to praise Jesus as he works in our hearts, minds and lifes!

I am beginning to see that the Lord is working hard to bring us back together in a marriage so strong that we will be the envy of the unsaved married couples around us. So there it is! Letting go and letting God is what makes a difference. Give him a little room to work and you will end up with a mobile home at best. Give in ALL the room to work and he will build you a palace that the non-believers will envy and try to find out HOW you got where you are! Then you can tell them about how GREAT Jesus is and what he has done and is waiting to do for you!

Lord, I know that there are more tough times ahead BUT you are in charge and NOTHING that is going to happen is not going to derail your plans for my live and my families life. Thank you Lord and I look forward to the day when those pretty little green eyes look up again into mine and say those words I so long to hear come from those perfect, lovely lips!

"I Love You"....and I love you Lord! Amen!